Charlie's Brutally Honest IM Status Messages

Why McSweeney's keeps foolishly denying themselves the pleasure of publishing Charlie's lists is a complete mystery to H2otown. Today's:

IM Status Messages I Would Use at Work, If I Were Really Being Honest:
"Weeping softly in stairwell A. Back in 10."
"At my desk, but just don't care."
"Way too sober to deal with you right now."

Go over to Charlie's to see the whole list.